I think one of the things that feels really disconcerting about this time of COVID is how strange even the most mundane and routine of activities feel. Things we have done mindlessly over a lifetime feel off-center, unexpected, and peculiar.
In the first few weeks of the pandemic, the stores looked post-apocalyptic with their ravaged, barren shelves. Even weird items like spam or canned sauerkraut…gone. That’s when there were 200 people in a single checkout line, carts overflowing with a combination of items that would never combine to make a meal of any value to anyone. I mentioned that spam and canned sauerkraut were missing from the shelves, right? There was a frenzied, desperate feel to any store that sold groceries. I’m not even going to talk about the toilet paper situation. I went to a Ralph’s on my lunch break just to spectate.
Of course, things have calmed down quite a bit since then. But still, it’s notably different.
A few weeks ago I went to Trader Joe’s during my work day. I approached the front door to find the now-expected line extending to what seemed like the end of the world. The thing is, that the line, while appearing to stretch to the end of the world, was actually composed of about 12 people, standing at least six feet apart. I patiently waited, playing solitaire, texting my dad, until the line moved up in leaps and bounds, and in another 10 minutes or so, I was in. The nice lady at the door misted everyone’s hands with hand sanitizer, and the doors slid open into a utopia of grocery shopping delight.
Ordinarily, Trader Joe’s at lunchtime can be a complete disaster, with elbows flying and mad grabs at the last “Pasadena” salad making it seem like one’s life depends on strategy and swift movement. But Trader Joe’s in the age of COVID is like what it would be to grocery shop as a major celebrity or political figure. Like if you are Michelle Obama and they cleared the whole store to make way for you alone. There are maybe 12 other people in there. The shelves are full. There are no black eyes, no mad dashes to the check out. It’s downright soothing.
But all this space welcomes observation, too. So someone like me, an amateur anthropologist, gets to step back and watch the masked lady survey the lemons. I get to watch her as she clearly wants to touch every single one, but instead, furtively glances around to determine what behavior is acceptable in this COVID climate. She then hovers her hand above 7 separate lemons–like a swami, reading lemon energy– before finally selecting one, lifting it, and–her furrowed brow tells me this–is disappointed. Oh no! Now she has to contemplate whether or not to replace this disappointing citrus with another, and whether that may be too much of a faux pas given that her possibly contaminated hands have touched it already. What to do, what to do? She throws the lemon in her basket and hastily grabs another with much less pomp and circumstance. Vaguely flustered, she pays the penance of an unwanted lemon to balance her first, and apparently unwise, choice.
This is the sort of thing that gets me up out of bed in the morning, folks.
Then, as I made my way to the back of the store, I turned the tight corner and–no kidding–came face to face with a diminutive person wearing…a full on, pull-over-the-head, green and black rubber FRANKENSTEIN MASK! Hahahah! It makes me laugh to type it. Pretty sure that’s NOT what they mean by encouraging us to wear a mask to the grocery store, but “A” for effort, Frankie!
Everything that felt familiar, that we have done a million times before, feels a little off. Going to the grocery store is an obvious one, sure, but just being in our homes all day, or seeing people driving in their cars with masks on their faces, or someone crossing to the other side of the street 6 houses away to avoid walking by you…it’s all super weird. I live in a city, but at night it’s so quiet, I may as well be in a little country town, population of 3. The quiet is unprecedented and nice, yes, but also very strange.
I guess my point is that we can lean in to the weirdness. We can stand back, observe, and recognize that everyone is doing what they can or feel like they need to do to be safe and to keep others safe, too. It doesn’t mean that the fear of the world has to be our fear. We can take our own precaution and still engage in the world around us (I’m talking to you, Frankenstein!).
This is a moment that we haven’t lived before and we hopefully won’t live again for some time. Try to enjoy the slowed pace, the cleaner air, and the quiet around us. If your fear is louder than your ability to live and experience and connect, then it’s time to figure that out. Meditate. Exercise. Call a friend.
One of my best friends used to say that if you want things to be different, you have to do something differently. This is our moment to do everything differently because the world is different than it was. And there’s no need to push against it. Your energy is better spent beating your partner at a good game of Scrabble, or hosting a Zoom happy hour with your besties from college, or maybe just binge watching a great show. Or reading a book.
You get my meaning here. When change happens, we have a choice. And the choice you make determines how you move through it. You push against or you figure out how to go with the flow. The change is happening with or without us and it isn’t asking for our permission, either.
Keep washing your hands and rocking that mask out there, folks. Stay safe and I’ll see you next week.
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Erika says
“This is our moment to do everything differently because the world is different than it was”. So true. I really love that. The world will probably always feel a little bit different after this. We will have a different perspective on things, even things as simple as buying toilet paper. I also love the Frankenstein story! And what you said at the end: “the change is happening with or without us, and it’s not asking our permission, either”. Well said. We may as well make the very best of it!
lorelei bonet says
Thanks so much for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Debra says
So glad you’re writing again, Lorelei. I enjoyed this so much! Thank you for your thoughts and your perspective!
lorelei bonet says
I’m glad to be writing again, too. Thanks for reading, Debra!
Andrea says
Hey Lorelei! This was so nice to read. So entertaining and light, yet so full of information as well. Your description of this experience feels like it was written just for me! Thank you.
lorelei bonet says
Andrea, thanks so much for reading and I am delighted that this resonated with you. I figured I wasn’t the only one who would be entertained by aspects of this experience. Stay healthy out there!
Judy says
The change is definitely happening, and what will hopefully happen is that we all will come to a new “normal.” We can take what we have learned from this to appreciate each day a little more. Thank you for writing, Lorelei! We missed you!
My husband is teaching Advanced Placement European History to high school students from our dining room table. Instead of thinking how difficult this is, we are grateful for two things. First, it is the end of the school year, and the teachers and students already know and trust each other. Second, these students have grown up with computers, devices, and the internet. They are tech savvy and can do this!
lorelei bonet says
Thank you, Judy. We are all rolling with this in the best ways we can. Your husband and his students and innumerable other students and parents and we’re all in this boat together, no question about it. And there is always something to be grateful for, you are right. It’s good to keep our eyes on the prize, in a manner of speaking. Stay well out there!
jose says
Great writing and a wonderful relaxing new look at life at a new time. Loved it.
lorelei bonet says
Thanks for reading, so glad you enjoyed it.
Marika says
As always every post that you write is food for thought, meaningful and inspiring. Just a pleasure to read. Keep up the great work. I’m so glad that you’re back!
lorelei bonet says
Thank you so much. It’s good to be back!