Lead With Your Heart

On a recent rainy weekend, I found myself bundled in blankets, surrounded by pets, and watching Mulan II.  Who knew there was a Mulan II, right?  But there it was.  In this sequel, Mulan is a bit less of a bad ass than in the first one, but still she is a warrior.  She and a general are in a position to escort three princesses to the site of their arranged marriages in order to prevent war.  Problematically, along the way, the three princesses fall in love with the three soldiers sent along for security in transport.

At one point, one of the princesses goes to Mulan, who is known to be brave and heroic after having disguised herself as a man to fight in her elderly father’s stead.  The princess asks Mulan, how did she know that she needed to break the rules, to defy her family’s wishes, and go to war as a man?  How ever did Mulan know or decide where her truest duty lie?  The princess asks, how does she know whether her duty ought be to her family/country or to her heart?

This is a big question, actually.  It is a question that we wrestle with all the time, whether it be a conscious process or not.  Our lives hold tension between what is expected and what we desire.  Between cultural and familial expectations, and what the little voice of our heart whispers to us.  Sometimes these decisions are big ones, as in, “I don’t want to do the clinical trial, and think it will take more than it gives, but everyone around me is telling me I need to do it, that it is the next best thing for me.”  Sometimes the whispers are a lot quieter.  They are about what you need to nurture your spirit today–to cancel lunch with a friend, to say “no” to the out of town guest that has asked to stay with you, or to ask for help or for someone to provide companionship when you are feeling low.

I used to say that the Universe rewards risk.  That in my experience, whenever I took a big leap–quitting a job that was stifling before lining something else up, taking an unpaid internship in something that I believed in when I was absolutely broke,  or getting out of a relationship that looked good and stable but that wasn’t speaking to my heart–I emerged on the other side, slightly bruised with a few scratches and scars, but ultimately feeling stronger, more empowered and more…me.  I still believe this is true, but I see it a little differently now.

I don’t think the Universe necessarily rewards risk, though I do believe there is a distinct link to the concept of “playing it safe” that leads to fewer doors opening, not more.  I actually think that the Universe rewards anyone when they listen to the whispers of their hearts and make decisions that support their growth and wholeness.  I think that this is often not easy, and also quite often stands in opposition to what is expected or what would be most desired by those around us.

I want you to think of anyone that has really had an impact or made a difference in this world.  Quite often they are portrayed as rebels or outliers, but really at the heart of it, they were just people who were honoring their truest sense of self, instead of doing what was asked of them, or what they were told to do.

Rosa Parks was simply tired “of giving in”.  Amelia Earhart, who if she had done as was expected, would never have learned to fly at all, let alone make history doing it.  Or Nelson Mandela, who fought apartheid and emerged from his imprisonment with a message of love and forgiveness, not bitterness and hate.

There is an endless string of artists who simply saw the world differently and shared it with us.  So many lived and died in poverty, yet they had to live their truth, and it changed the way we see our world and theirs.  Sometimes it is closer to home.  Maybe a parent who left a bad marriage or past generations that left everything they knew for the promise of a better future.  They won’t be on postage stamps, but they changed the world all the same.

I could go on.  So can you.  We stand today, backed by a long history of people who changed the world, not by following the status quo, but by moving in distinctly different directions.  By listening to their own hearts and spirits, by acting in truth to that self, even when it brought them hardship.

The thing is that that part of ourselves is not often the loudest, strongest, or most prominent.  That’s the catch.  To hear and subsequently honor it, we have to get quiet.  We have to be still.  We have to know ourselves and ask for the strength it will take to be true to it, from wherever that sort of strength might come.

This past weekend, millions of women and men around the globe stood up to be counted in a world that feels like it is changing.  That is changed.  I would venture to say that the challenge is not in organizing that many people on a given Saturday in response to a political climate, but in holding, maintaining, and continuing to honor that voice in the days and years to come.  It is harder to stand alone and embody the love, kindness, and intention that was practically vibrating around the world on January 21st.  It is harder to be still, to hear your own voice asking for freedom and empowerment and strength and to move with intention in that direction.  To act in kindness and beneficence to those around us, even when we don’t agree with one another.  To cultivate a climate of truth and forgiveness.  These are our challenges.

You may be reading this thinking, “Yes, lorelei.  But what ever did Mulan say to the Princess?!  Who DO you honor? How do you know who your duty is to?”  Well, Mulan said it best.  She realized that even though she was betraying the duty to her family, she recognized that her duty must always be to her own heart.